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Ok, so I logged on and saw this message at the top of the screen: "Hey Jack Tilt, we're glad you're here and all, but you haven't said anything in over two weeks. Make a post. Tell us what (or who) you had for dinner. Make an ass of yourself somehow, you know how to do that. Jump back in the...

Who wrote: I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ??? Or this: The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster. Or: We die only once, and for such a long time. Or: Love earth - or leave it! Or: Sometimes a man must get drunk to...