Saying you like "Jazz" is like saying you like "Rock." It doesn't really mean anything. There are too many variations. Big band music from the 40's makes me smile, those guys were cool. Watch them play (or watch films of the playing), they were having a ball. And they swing, baby!
Modern jazz makes me weep for the self-important pretention of it all. Like a bunch of art school kids standing around congratulating each other, giddy over the utterly horrible and useless shit they've produced.
(I have been writing a memoir of sorts, so I will take this opportunity to bore you with a story I recently remembered and wrote down.)
Thursday, February 11, 1982 I was on tour with a punk band and we played some nondescript tiny shithole in Lansing Michigan. For some sadistic reason, the owner of the venue had given the opening slot to a band called Judy's Tiny Head. When I saw that on the poster I thought, "That's a funny name, they must be cool."
But who walked in but three JazzRockProgFiveStringBass kinda pudgy junior professor looking types. Well, still, so far, so good. We played with plenty of really weird looking fuckers, and they usually turned out to be great people.
So JTH sets up, spends 20 or thirty minutes tweaking their expensive amps with little lamps on top of them (you know, so they can see the knobs when the stadium is dark), and then they looked at each other and smiled and began to play the most laughably ridiculous plunky herky jerky broken wagon wheel kind of "It's been three bars, change the time signature again!" bullshit I'd ever heard.
Which is fair enough. But they did this thing - I've never seen anything quite like it since - where one of them would tear up a tasty little diddly bit that used all the notes on the instrument, and when he was done, they would all look at each other and break out into huge smiles, sometimes laughing because they were so awesome.
The rational part of me said, just leave and come back later, do your thing and get out of here. It's only Lansing, Michigan, maybe this is how they do things here. But the 21 year old in me wanted to pick up the napkin holders off the tables and sail them at the band. As was often the case in those days, the 21 year old part of me won out, so I ran from table to table flinging those shiny metal napkin holders at the stage. I was aiming for the instruments, to try to disable them somehow, but I never quite hit the mark.
Eventually a couple of guys who were considerably larger than me dragged me out the back door and were about to crack my skull when the rest of my band casually meandered out and convinced them that I was not just a random troublemaker. I was actually in the band.
And all that when I wasn't even drinking! ;) Next time I'll tell you the fascinatingly similar story of throwing beer bottles at the Pretenders in a Minneapolis bar, a couple of years before the napkin holder incident. In my defense, I was drinking heavily at that time.