Holy shit!

[cirerita]

But it's also true, that he has given away a lot of stuff the last years.

Crumbles, man, crumbles! Those are but crumbles here.

Yes, I'll admit to some teasing on my part, but not that much. But I find it really funny that the people who criticize my supposedly humble-less attittude are probably the most humble members on this board :D You know, the old "to see the mote in one's neighbour's eye and not the beam in one's own". Yes, I had to look it up in the dictionary.

 

[Johannes]

Please don't fight, guys.

Cirerita nobody can or want to deny that all your work and research is one big part which makes bukowski.net as unique and lively and thrilling and interesting, as it is. It's also very understandable, as roni pointed out, that one wants to talk about his work, especially with peers who share the same interests. Nobody of us would even know about all the things out there, without you.

On the other hand, for x3489032bfewf!?!!!`s sake, it's simply envy, and lust, and whatnot, speaking for my humble self only, of course: Knowing about these binders and all that fantastic material out there (The Whit Burnett correspondence alone!) and not knowing what the hell what the hell ...

Now you gathered and collected all that through hard and ungrateful research and work and have every right in the world (of course) to say "fuck you, I'm doing or not doing everything I want with it". There's no discussion about that. But we out in the fog are only human and sometimes short-tempered and and AND.

We have been at that point before and will probably get there again, until the situation has changed fundamentally: You feeling sort of mistreated after you contributed so much and us feeling sort of teased and hold out of material or what. And that's fucked because it shouldn't be "you" and "us" but WE, like it was and is.

So, thank you very much cirerita, your work and contributions never ceased to amaze me. It's one hell of a miracle, really. And it's sad, that we have to come to this point every now and then, but then, probably only human and therefore unavoidable(?)

How's the biblio doing?

 

[cirerita]

$$$$$$

I've always had trouble with
money.
this one place I worked
everybody ate hot dogs
and potato chips
in the company cafeteria for
3 days before each
payday.
I wanted steaks,
I even went to see the manager
of the cafeteria and
demanded that he serve
steaks. he refused.

I'd forget payday.
I had a high rate of absenteeism and
payday would arrive and everybody would
start talking about
it.
"payday?" I'd say, "hell, is this
payday? I forgot to pick up my
last cheek ..."

"stop the bullshit, man ..."

"no, no, I mean it ..."

I'd jump up and go down to payroll
and sure enough there'd be a
check and I'd come back and show it
to them. "Jesus Christ, I forgot all about
it ..."

for some reason they'd get
angry. then the payroll clerk would come
around. I'd have two
checks. "Jesus," I'd say, "two checks."
and they were
angry.
some of them were working
two jobs.

the worst day
it was raining very hard,
I didn't have a raincoat so
I put on a very old coat I hadn't worn for
months and
I walked in a little late
while they were working.
I looked in the coat for some
cigarettes
and found a 5 dollar bill
in the side pocket:
"hey, look," I said, "I just found a 5 dollar
bill I didn't know I had, that's
funny."

"hey, man, knock off the
shit!"

"no, no, I'm serious, really, I remember
wearing this coat when
I got drunk at the
bars. I've been rolled too often,
I've got this fear ... I take money out of
my wallet and hide it all
over me."

"sit down and get to
work."

I reached into an inside pocket:
"hey, look, here's a TWENTY! God, here's a
TWENTY I never knew I
had! I'm
RICH!"

"you're not funny, son of
a bitch ..."

"hey, my God, here's ANOTHER
twenty! too much, too too
much ... I knew I didn't spend all that
money that night. I thought I'd been
rolled again ..."

I kept searching the
coat. "hey! here's a ten and
here's a fiver! my God ..."

"listen, I'm telling you to sit down
and shut up ..."

"my God, I'm RICH ... I don't even need
this job ..."

"man, sit down ..."

I found another ten after I sat down
but I didn't say
anything.
I could feel waves of hatred and
I was confused,
they believed I had
plotted the whole thing
just to make them
feel bad. I didn't want
to. people who live on hot dogs and
potato chips for
3 days before payday
feel bad
enough.

I sat down
leaned forward and
began to go to
work.

outside
it continued to
rain.

from Love Is a Dog from Hell

 

[Digney in Burnaby]

from Love Is a Dog from Hell

Funny, I was thinking of that piece of writing while this thread was happening but I didn't search for it.

I've had my years when I forgot to pick up my pay cheque. Seems like I had two or three stapled together once when I finally remembered to pick it up. There used to be a feeding frenzy line up to the pay windows on pay day.

Now everything gets zapped electronically so it isn't the same situation.

From the Bukowski "$$$$$$" I did learn to keep my mouth shut during a couple elongated strikes. While some were on the verge of losing houses and families I could sit it out on the picket line, not looking for a job, for months on end. Guys were on edge. They'd probably beat the shit out of me if I started gloating about how long I could stay away from work.

Maybe I learned some things from Bukowski. Most days, especially when it comes to money and time, it's best to just grouse about the lack of it along with everyone else.

 

[Rekrab]

I have a second job now working in a bookstore on Saturdays and it's old school. There's a time clock (I hadn't punched one of those for decades) and they hand out checks once or twice a month. I kind of enjoy that time clock. It makes me feel like I'm really working.