bukowski.net fan mail

hank solo

Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights
Moderator
Founding member
Hmmm.. perhaps not as good as expected.
I'll try harder this year, well maybe.
 

mjp

Founding member
You weren't singled out, the mail from the server has been dodgy, which is one of the reasons we'll be moving to a new server soon.
 
Well, I didn't get one :(

happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday dear hankie
happy birthday to you

cake.jpg
 

hank solo

Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights
Moderator
Founding member
He-e-y! Thats Beauti-ful! Thanks bongobill
 

Ponder

"So fuck Doubleday Doran"
RIP
I suppose you're working very hard on buknet. Sometimes people forget this and want more and more.
I read enough glossy magazines in my life. Black and white rules;)
 

mjp

Founding member
You are user 228, that's first wave. Around the time Factotum came out we got a lot of new users. I guess that's the second wave. But they continue to come in pretty steadily now, so it's no longer waves, just tides.

I could be a poet with these compelling similes.

Here are more pearls of wisdom from the mailbag:

---

I caught something briefly on the news last night...something about kids getting high by doing something with "Incense"..do you know anything about this, if so please inform me via my email address. I have foster kids that are teenagers and need to keep up with this stuff...Thank you...MJ

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Please allow me on this forum -- I promise I will not say anything -- just like to click on the links and see something -- If I post anything they delete me.

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what do u think bukowski would said about this site?

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im sorry no speak english, yes spanish i want more information thank you

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What I have to say here is useless

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hello,
recently while listening to a audio cd of charles bukowski reading his poetry I was stunned at how much rhythm there was in the poems(I was strumming my guitar by chance whilst listening).
I immediatelly recorded the idea in my own 16 track studio,I have completed a further four poems since.
You have to hear them,they are absolutely beautiful,its as if he had read his poems to a metronome! If you want to hear these recordings I will gladly send you a cd of all five poems.
I am a experienced musician and in my humble opinion these ecordings are so cool they could be used for either short films or even an audio cd to bring bukowski's work to an even greater audience in the music world.
It would be great if linda lee bukowski could hear them and I would be gracious enough to respect her opinions on the recordings,
hope to hear from you,
Jeff Bell

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so which one of you decides what e mails we're going to entertain? correspondence is key to the entire human race being semi-normal,you know communication?fuck what he would say what do you ?this is not your web site to ponce over like some english duke ,so completely out of touch,it's bukowski we're celebrating and fuck him anyway.i just want the goddam info to get a copy of the picture,right?so now,now tell me,compiler, unless you are the beaurocrat i'm sensing you are,where,how,now

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Whoever banned me is a faggot that has to live in a dreamworld probably because he is to scared of the real world.

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Yesterday my friends and I were hanging around the poetry section at barnes and noble, and i think it was fate the second I randomly pulled one of your poetry books out. "You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense." After reading some of it and some from your website, I am going back today to buy the book. I reallyyy enjoy your poetry. :)

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Dear Mr. Bukowski,
I'm journalist in best selling magazine in Republic of Macedonia, weekly "Tea Moderna. Seen now I have make interviews with many famous people like; Anja Garbarek, rock photograph Fin Costello, coposer Gabriel Yared, Ryuichi Sakamoto, William Orbit, writer Milorad Pavic... and many... It would be great pleasure for me if you accept this interview. Your are very famous here in Macedonia. Yes, I now, we are small country, but we are very art-loving
Hope for positive reply

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Send me back a reply and then we will start a dialoge, I love his work and his poems hurt so good, I live in the sticks and he lived in the city I read his book by accident one day at the library at the university it was great,what more is there to say send me an e mail back the same way i cased it or it won't work for some reason

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so the twins beat me for a bit

and they hurt, shit, if ya catch one of the nipples in an eye, well, scary

she has no idea of the great B

so many don't

see ya on the flipside bud

do something cool before the kickoff

like maybe shaving

ya stupid fuck
 
Torben
torben.bluesteelmedia@gmail.com

please stop this website, it does not do bukowski any good. full stop. im sure you agree.

----------
Some do
some say how they could do better....but don't
Reminds me of a great line in a song by Jane Siberry
I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress
Cheque please Torbin
 

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
What's the name of the site? I would like to have a look. bluesteelmedia.com is just a seller of domains...
 
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mjp

Founding member
I don't know if Torben has a site. I think he just needed to get that off his chest. The subject line for Torben's email, by the way, was "your blog." I didn't realize that we had a blog here. Maybe Torben thinks every web site is a blog.

You could call and ask him:
Torben Andersen
ph: +47 47246853
 
"Yesterday my friends and I were hanging around the poetry section at barnes and noble, and i think it was fate the second I randomly pulled one of your poetry books out. "You Get So Alone at Times That It Just Makes Sense." After reading some of it and some from your website, I am going back today to buy the book. I reallyyy enjoy your poetry.

Dear Mr.Bukowski..."


oh man,thats priceless, some of them seem to think you are hank...
 

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
Strange they have'nt asked for autographs...:D
 
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hank solo

Just practicin' steps and keepin' outta the fights
Moderator
Founding member
ooh, i'd like one if you've enough ink in those pens of yours mr blogkowski :D
 
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Ponder

"So fuck Doubleday Doran"
RIP
Chinaski! Piss on you! You were once a great writer!
Now you suck! You've sold out! My grandmother writes bet-
ter shit than you do! You've had your head up your asshole
too long! I sent my stuff to your publisher and he sent back
a letter. He said "Thank you for submitting but we are
overstocked." The prick, I'll overstock his butthole! He gob-
bles shit for breakfast!
The great poets are ignored. They are afraid of the great
poets! You were once a great poet but now you are only a
band-aid covering a pus-hole! You gobble your own weenie
under a sky of vomit! You've sold your balls to the butcher!
You've killed the baby of your love! You are monkey stink!
Forever and ever and ever!
I enclose some of my last work . . .


Hollywood, p.56

I love you Mr. Mjpkowski !
 

mjp

Founding member
Sounds like that could have been written by one of the forum members here... :rolleyes:
 

mjp

Founding member
oh man,thats priceless, some of them seem to think you are hank...
What's really funny is a newer version of any of his books you would pick up in a Barnes and Noble probably has the year of his death on the author page, where the picture of Bukowski usually appears. If the new books still have that page.

But that's a pretty common mistake, actually. Someone sends one of those "I love your work" emails every few weeks. I used to break the news to them, but a few replied back how stupid that made them feel, so now I just let them go on believing he's still out there typing. Which is probably better for them anyway. I kind of wish I thought he was still out there typing...
 

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Moderator
Founding member
I remember when I found out about 2 years after his death. I was heartbroken. like a relative passed. I found out on the bio page of whatever was the latest book I bought at that time.
 
Someone sends one of those "I love your work" emails every few weeks. I used to break the news to them, but a few replied back how stupid that made them feel, so now I just let them go on believing he's still out there typing. Which is probably better for them anyway.

You are NOT the great writer Charles Bukowski? Hell, I feel cheated!

(o.k. fun aside: I think you should go on telling these people. Sure, they might feel a little foolish first - but how might they feel when finding out about Bukowski's death in some years? Better? Sure, not. You could prepare something like a standard-answer to these kinds of mails, so you only have to copy/past which isn't too much work. We shouldn't look down at people who are not as informed as we are. Besides, even we are at very different levels also.
As always I can only speak for me: I'm always happy, when someone well informed gives me any news. Everyone of us started as a baby with no knowledge at all and all of us were dependent on information we get from others.)
 

mjp

Founding member
More great fan mail! He's upset about this page. Oh, I didn't add the ellipses...that's the way he begins everything he writes. I looked him up. Ha.

From Mace Price <deadbolt101@netzero.com>
...Yeah I know the drill; better than you. But why do you wanna be so exclusive towards those don't? Especially with the above brief impersonation of "Style." I know it's hard, but try and relax. You aren't Bukowski, just like he wasn't Celine and in case you haven't noticed; Literature's a dead letter these days anyway. You can't exist in the past, and no man has ever achieved significance in aping another's.
 

mjp

Founding member
...You were Maced, I guess....
Ha! Well, I've been Maced again!

I sent this snarky, poking-the-gorilla-with-a-stick, response to his email, to see if I could get him to fling more shit through the bars of his cage:

---

You're telling me to relax, but you're writing long complaints about a form. I really doubt that you can see the humor in that - or anything else - but I can. And yes, I'm sure you know the drill and everything else in the world better than I do. After all, you're the genius complaining about a form.

There's nothing "exclusive" about not wanting to answer the same half dozen questions ten times a day (I assume your original question fell into one of those categories, and that's why you are so angry and pissy). If you don't like the form, you're always free to go fuck yourself, drop dead, suck Scott Horton's dick [Scott Horton writes some sort of Ron Paul cult blog where Mace seems to be his biggest fan and commenter - a little bit of reading there confirmed that Mr. Mace is a indeed the pompous windbag his email made him out to be], eat a bug - those kinds of things. You know the drill. If that's not your style, maybe you should write another complaint about the contact form at bukowski.net.

Send it via the form.

Sincerely, your pal,

mjp

---

And quite predictably, he replied:


From Mace Price <deadbolt101@netzero.com>
3:46 am

...Nah, you flatter yourself...truth is I was just surfing the web...had and have no intentions of submitting any "Literature" becoming part of any forums, on line discussion groups, or Bukowski worship with you as a self styled Ordained Minister and Disciple to trans substantiate innermost meanings, etc., etc., Also---I'm not your pal, 4 lines hardly constitutes a long complaint in accessing your personality and status.

More important: Never make the error of talking that way to me that way again, about my friend Scott Horton that way again, nor contact me unsolicited again...With the purile mouth you got; it'd be a very bad move. I hope you understand me. No mas.

---MCP



Then an hour and a half later - apparently still thinking about how much he loves me - this ominous follow-up:


From Mace Price <deadbolt101@netzero.com>
5:21 AM

...You shouldn't have sent me that e-mail...Don't send me any more.



Now whatever could that mean? Not only have I been Maced, I've been threatened! I think I'm going to pee my pants!
 

mjp

Founding member
Yeah, all the Libertarians use NetZero. Don't you know all the other ISPs are closely monitored by the guvvamint?!

Though he should really have an account at NetKook.com...
 

mjp

Founding member
I know I shouldn't, but -


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On Dec 10, 2007 5:21 AM, Mace Price <deadbolt101@netzero.com> wrote:

...You shouldn't have sent me that e-mail...Don't send me any more.




Funny, that's exactly what I was going to say to you. I was also going to mention that should stop whining. You sound like a homely high school girl who didn't get a date to the prom, and sat home sobbing all night, plotting your sad revenge on a world that has let you down.

Now I have to get back to mocking you on the Bukowski forum. Stop interrupting me with your nonsense.

I demand that you do not contact me further!

Sincerely, your pal,

mjp



On Dec 10, 2007 6:05 PM, Mace Price <deadbolt101@netzero.com> wrote:

...Last fuckin' time I'm gonna tell ya.




Dear Maceo,

I told you I did not want to receive any more email from you. Why are you sending this? Are you threatening me?

Sincerely, your pal,

mjp


---


Now I wonder what's going to happen. I've been warned for the "last fuckin' time," so I'm a little worried...I've never been threatened by a net bully before! Um hm.

I'll never understand this type. At least when I used to send pissy emails to site owners (hey, it was a long time ago, I have changed my ways) I took it in stride when I got a pissy response. I mean, I was the one who started it. But this guy has special rules in his head that only apply to him I guess. He can - what do the kids say? - Oh yeah; he can dish it out but he can't take it!

Honestly, if you tell me not to respond to you, and that bad things will happen if I do, I kind of have to respond. It's a character flaw, I understand, but I am helpless against it. Plus I really want to know what he's going to do. Maybe he's going to come and beat me up or something? ;)

Where's Mickey Rourke when I need him?
 

jordan

lothario speedwagon
man, i wish i found this thread in a couple days, since the suspense is killing me.

also, check out the guy on the ron paul blog that makes gay references to mace every time he posts. it's hilarious- he says that his lips are "so kissable."
 

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
What a smart guy this Mace character is. To make threads - in writing? How very intelligent of him!
Maybe we should all send him a mail. I mean, just to keep him occupied with making threads, since he loves it so much...:D
 

mjp

Founding member
also, check out the guy on the ron paul blog that makes gay references to mace every time he posts. it's hilarious- he says that his lips are "so kissable."
See, now that's just wrong. I would like to go on record saying that I do not in any way condone such childish and ridiculous actions!
 
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