mjp
Founding member
Right. The binoculars just make it easier.
Bukowski the Bartender / your worst drunk
- Thread starter Pop Farnsworth
- Start date
OK, I'll tell you a story. A good drunk, but not my worst. My worst was probably when I vomited in the beer bucket during Freshman orientation, summer 1981. Drank any number of beers, blew a few good bones, and then proceeded to blow chunks in the nearest trash barrel. Problem was, it was the beer bucket, with another 50 beers and ice. I had been so proud to hit it. "I HIT THE TRASH CAN, MOTHER FUCKER!"
It wasn't until the next day that someone clued me in to what I had done. 27 years later, all I have to say is "freakin' sweet!" I did not utter those words the next day, however.
Having not learned my lesson, here's another from a few months later:
Freshman year of college, 1981 or 1982, depending on whether there was snow or not. How the hell should I remember that? Frat party, cute blonde with wide exquisite ass. Smokes Newports. Cool; she'll die before me. (Well, isn't that what you think while drunk at 18 and ready to shoot some goo? No, of course not, but it reads well...)
Got to her room at the sister college (they go there for their MRS), and couldn't figure out what to do. No penetration? Fuck.
Hand job? Sure.
So I stumble into the bathroom and look around for something to use.
Ivory soap? No. Used that in the shower at 10. No good.
Scope? Fuck no!
Ahh, good old BenGay. What better than a sports cream to aid in bedroom recreation?
Squirted a healthy amount on my palm and tranferred it to her hand after sticking my tongue down her throat, almost to her bunghole. I could almost taste her stomach acid.
So, she got to work.
Good, ah yes, good...HOLY CRAP!
:eek:
It wasn't until the next day that someone clued me in to what I had done. 27 years later, all I have to say is "freakin' sweet!" I did not utter those words the next day, however.
Having not learned my lesson, here's another from a few months later:
Freshman year of college, 1981 or 1982, depending on whether there was snow or not. How the hell should I remember that? Frat party, cute blonde with wide exquisite ass. Smokes Newports. Cool; she'll die before me. (Well, isn't that what you think while drunk at 18 and ready to shoot some goo? No, of course not, but it reads well...)
Got to her room at the sister college (they go there for their MRS), and couldn't figure out what to do. No penetration? Fuck.
Hand job? Sure.
So I stumble into the bathroom and look around for something to use.
Ivory soap? No. Used that in the shower at 10. No good.
Scope? Fuck no!
Ahh, good old BenGay. What better than a sports cream to aid in bedroom recreation?
Squirted a healthy amount on my palm and tranferred it to her hand after sticking my tongue down her throat, almost to her bunghole. I could almost taste her stomach acid.
So, she got to work.
Good, ah yes, good...HOLY CRAP!
:eek:
Sophomore year at boarding school a schoolmate produces a bottle of vodka. He was a fairly experienced drinker in comparison to me. I grabbed the bottle and guzzled about a quarter of it in one gulp. Cue the much mentioned calm before the storm. He kept saying how impressed he was...never seen anybody do that before. 10 minutes later we are watching TV in the lounge area. I start blowing huge wads of spit onto the screen from about 10 feet. They get me upstairs to my floor's bathroom. I begin puking and cover half the floor, a mirror and fill a sink part way. The senior proctor enters. Gives me a choice: clean the place spotless in about 15 and go to sleep or accompany him to the dorm head. I don't know how spotless I got it, but I was never busted...that time. Worst spins I ever had.
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chronic
old and in the way
Tips? Well, none that I can think of. Be lucky? You probably know the bar. Used to be Danny's on 78. Now it's a chain bar.
Father Luke
Founding member
Buzzcat: That's one hell-uva a story.
I'll have to think a long time before I can top that.
Whoo wee !
I'll have to think a long time before I can top that.
Whoo wee !