Cameron Diaz, what?
- Thread starter hoochmonkey9
- Start date
Lolita Twist
Rose-hustler
I guess being a Buk fan can go two ways. You can have a certain personality... or none at all.
:/
:/
He liked the way they called it Trippin' to reach a young, urban audience. Just like he always wanted to do.
I know this may sound crazy, but who's Carmen Diaz? ;)
Lolita Twist
Rose-hustler
Where in the world is Carmen Diaziago?
ha! yeah, I meant Cameron Diaz.
I fixed it.
I fixed it.
Gerard K H Love
Appreciate your friends
In case you still don't know......
I hope that Bukowski's poetry wouldn't be like Ray-Ban sunglasses.
I the past Bob Dylan had one.
Right now Lindsay Lohan has one.
I the past Bob Dylan had one.
Right now Lindsay Lohan has one.
Uh, they're Ray-Ban's, man. Do you think General MacArthur got mad when he saw Dylan wearing them? Or WW2 pilots?
mjp
Founding member
You are my new holy man. May I follow you?
No, I'm a romantic fatalist.
mjp
Founding member
I don't even know what that means, so it is clear that you are much more profound than I am, which only makes me more passionate about becoming your follower.
I understand your reluctance. No one worth following wants to be followed. But I have much to offer you. Hear me out. These are 20 reasons to allow me to be your follower. Though you will notice that many of them require you to come here to California.
1) American liquor - I can get it by the barrelful.
2) American women - they eat out of my hand, my friend. I will send them all to you.
3) Japanese cars.
4) Fine art - not tin serving platters from pubs, real art.
5) One piano.
6) Five guitars.
7) A thousand books - only one is written by a Polish author though, I'm afraid.
8) Refrigerator - keeps things cold: food, various beers and ales, film for your camera.
9) Privacy - what happens in Pasadena stays in Pasadena, yeah?
10) Television - very large. As large as a Polish automobile. And 500 channels to watch.
11) Cash - I make a ridiculous amount of CASH MONEY from this web site. I humbly grant it all to you.
12) Devotion - I will never turn on you, my friend.
13) Californication DVDs - autographed by ALL the ladies who showed their boobs on the show.
14) Indoor plumbing - a bathtub AND a shower in a room the size of your current apartment.
15) Barack Obama - Negro president. No, I am not kidding.
16) 360 days of sunshine every year.
17) Tournament of Roses parade, including college football sports.
18) K-Mart - this is a large building full of consumer goods. You can buy your clothes there, and bullets for the guns.
19) Professional women's basketball - it's called the WNBA and I have courtside season tickets for both of us.
20) Jimmy Carter - farmer and president, he builds houses and goes to foreign countries to sort things out.
I realize those seem like cheap and tawdry trinkets to a man such as yourself, but they are all I have to offer. Please reconsider my plea.
I understand your reluctance. No one worth following wants to be followed. But I have much to offer you. Hear me out. These are 20 reasons to allow me to be your follower. Though you will notice that many of them require you to come here to California.
1) American liquor - I can get it by the barrelful.
2) American women - they eat out of my hand, my friend. I will send them all to you.
3) Japanese cars.
4) Fine art - not tin serving platters from pubs, real art.
5) One piano.
6) Five guitars.
7) A thousand books - only one is written by a Polish author though, I'm afraid.
8) Refrigerator - keeps things cold: food, various beers and ales, film for your camera.
9) Privacy - what happens in Pasadena stays in Pasadena, yeah?
10) Television - very large. As large as a Polish automobile. And 500 channels to watch.
11) Cash - I make a ridiculous amount of CASH MONEY from this web site. I humbly grant it all to you.
12) Devotion - I will never turn on you, my friend.
13) Californication DVDs - autographed by ALL the ladies who showed their boobs on the show.
14) Indoor plumbing - a bathtub AND a shower in a room the size of your current apartment.
15) Barack Obama - Negro president. No, I am not kidding.
16) 360 days of sunshine every year.
17) Tournament of Roses parade, including college football sports.
18) K-Mart - this is a large building full of consumer goods. You can buy your clothes there, and bullets for the guns.
19) Professional women's basketball - it's called the WNBA and I have courtside season tickets for both of us.
20) Jimmy Carter - farmer and president, he builds houses and goes to foreign countries to sort things out.
I realize those seem like cheap and tawdry trinkets to a man such as yourself, but they are all I have to offer. Please reconsider my plea.
To really convince him, you may want to make him a moderator, and offer the Turkish Prison, but perhaps change it to a Turkish Bath.
Cool Kid,
You'd be a fool not to accept! Although what happens in Pasadena STAYS in Pasadena? Why that's just crazy talk!
You'd be a fool not to accept! Although what happens in Pasadena STAYS in Pasadena? Why that's just crazy talk!
If he doesn't want them, I'll take them. All except for the WNBA tickets.
bospress.net
www.bospress.net
mjp;
You had me at indoor plumbing....
Bill
You had me at indoor plumbing....
Bill
Lolita Twist
Rose-hustler
How come a newbie gets attention like this?
How come us "supporting members" never get attention like this?
I live in Europe too you know!
I could use some indoor plumbing as well!
Not to mention 2 or three days of sunshine.
Don't need the fridge though - cold as hell here already.
And American women ... nah... I'm fine.
On second thought, its all OK.
Just you keep at it mjp!
And don't you take no for an answer.
Lolita Twist
Rose-hustler
Chris Rock said something interesting on his Don't Kill The Messanger stand-up... something akin to,
"Black people have no advantages whatsoever. Whenever I say that to one of my white friends, the white dude always says, 'WELL YOU CAN SAY NIGGER!'. I say back to him, 'wanna switch places? You scream nigger, and I'll raise interest rates.'"
I wish I had a real life friend like MJP that would care if I came to his house late at night and told him ALL my problems. He get's it. Of course, I'd be prepared to accept his easily aroused scorn as well. He does it so well that he fools people.
mjp
Founding member
You can come over and tell me your problems any time.
It's okay if I watch TV while you talk, right? I'll still be listening, but I might be looking at the set.
Erik, good lord man, Norway isn't Europe! Norway is like a little continent of it's own that just happens to be stuck inside some other crummy continent. I grew up among Norwegians, I know all about your strange habits and the adding of briney fish parts to everything you cook. Your booya pots and lefse. Your inability to be mean or say anything unpleasant or show any kind of otherwise human emotion. Those are my people, and I've spent years in therapy just to learn how to talk about my feelings.
And now that I can finally express myself I am scorned and ridiculed, pilloried in a community of my own making, like Frankenstein's monster, scarface or Jimmy Carter.
All I have to say to you is this, my Scandinavian friend; your women, they are beautiful yes, but their icy hearts and tiny, rock hard souls will crush and batter the strongest of men, and they will do it without so much as batting a naturally blond eyelash. I have seen their work up close, and I still bear the scars. I understand now why your countrymen drink to excess and engage in a higher than normal rate of homosexual activity.
It is my particular burden to bear that I have Scandinavian, Irish and American Indian blood running through my veins. I was doomed to a life of drink and destitution before I was old enough to sit on the toilet. But none of you care about that.
Yes, Robert Plant sang praises to your Norse gods, but he too was a sissy boy when it came right down to it. We all are when confronted with your women, harsh climate and indifference to outsiders. We are not men. But we can read about real men in our history books.
Gerard K H Love
Appreciate your friends
Mmmm briney fish and a higher homosexuality rate!
I'm actually just referring to the fish. what? Seriously!
I'm actually just referring to the fish. what? Seriously!
my mothers maiden name was Noseworthy, which came from Norseworthy. so, uh, yeah.
just wanted to post something, and I've gone 10 or 15 minutes without talking about myself, so I was getting a little vanity withdrawal.
now I feel better.
I drink in the shower, so that makes us bathroom buddies.
wait, that doesn't sound right.
just wanted to post something, and I've gone 10 or 15 minutes without talking about myself, so I was getting a little vanity withdrawal.
now I feel better.
I drink in the shower, so that makes us bathroom buddies.
wait, that doesn't sound right.
Lolita Twist
Rose-hustler
When you gargle in the mornings with Bourbon is when there might be a problem.
My heritage wins: Half Italian Half Irish Catholic.
Which means I cry about everything, and then I pass out.
Or rather, I wish.
My heritage wins: Half Italian Half Irish Catholic.
Which means I cry about everything, and then I pass out.
Or rather, I wish.