Modern Day Factotum

bospress.net

bospress.net

www.bospress.net
Here's my list, soon to be drawfed by Father Luke and his 32 jobs in one year. This all took place in 20 years.

Fast Food
Book Store Employee and asst manager
Record Store Manager
Bellman
Carpet Cleaner
Phone operator
Reservations agent
Collections Agent
Credit Manager
Controller
Tax Accountant
Construction Sales
 
Gerard K H Love

Gerard K H Love

Appreciate your friends
I started to make a list, I worte it all down and had to stop. It is pretty boring and quite pathetic that I have had so many jobs. It is such a broad spectrum that I am a "jack of all trades and master of none".
I worked retail, wholesale, factory assembley and even flew on B-52s. Now I sell RVs.

Bill did you notice there is no apostrophe on B-52. Thank you;)
 
bogthing

bogthing

Gerard K H Love said:
I started to make a list, I worte it all down and had to stop. It is pretty boring and quite pathetic that I have had so many jobs. It is such a broad spectrum that I am a "jack of all trades and master of none".
I worked retail, wholesale, factory assembley and even flew on B-52s. Now I sell RVs.

Bill did you notice there is no apostrophe on B-52. Thank you;)
Click to expand...

Was there ever any Dr. Strangelove references/scenarios aboard?
 
Gerard K H Love

Gerard K H Love

Appreciate your friends
We had a big Texan as our radar navigator- he was in charge of targeting and ultimately dropping the bombs or missles. That was as close to Slim Pickens as we got.
Debriefing was drinking mass quantities of beer.
 
S

Spinbowler

one of my best moments

Last year I went and decided to go and pick cherries in a good old country town down south, one day I was picking cherries and could feel a serious case of the runs coming on from eating too many cherries in the morning. Holding my arse cheeks together with both hands and with stiff legs I began taking extremely small steps to my car to find the nearest dunny. I prostrated myself into the car and drove down the hill and found the old tin shitter at the bottom, opened the door and relieved myself in the hole. After a good look down I began to search for some paper to wipe my arse with but no luck, I had a look outside to see if anyone was looking and then dashed to the car and opened the boot to see if there was anything in there that would help. What I found was golden, the only copy I had left of my resume. I pulled it out after thinking about it for a second and went back to the box and wiped my arse with it, I couldn't believe how smooth it was, what a feeling! Only problem is, now I'm looking for a job and can't remember what I've done.
 
Bukfan

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
...and wiped your arse! Maybe you could get a job as a toiletpaper tester in a toiletpaper factory...:D
 
S

Spinbowler

ah yes father luke I don't think I'm going to forget that in a hurry:D
as for the toilet paper factory, thankyou. I might give that a run:D
 
mjp

mjp

Founding member
The reality of all of this is, unless you are particularly lucky, you have to weight your options. Freedom versus job-work.

The lucky are born into money, or born into a talent that can carry them through without a "normal" job.

For the rest of us there is poverty or work. Many people here seem to have done both. I have experience in both myself, and work - in my experience - is preferable to poverty. Of course it depends on the work.

This is the main focus of all of Bukowski's writing. Think about it. You can boil it down to this: we have a right not to work. Rejecting work is not a sign of weakness. But - and he mentioned this too - if you choose that path you choose a life of relative poverty, and if you can deal with that, cool. Freedom awaits you.

But I have personally known multi-multi-millionaires who were not free. In fact, they were the farthest from free that you could be. Every minute of every day was already planned before they went to sleep the night before (if they went to sleep the night before). Wealthy, yes! Free, I think not. I would not trade places with them, despite their seeming advantages in life and society.

The truth and the balance lies somewhere in between.
 
Father Luke

Father Luke

Founding member
did someone say factotum?

bospress.net said:
Here's my list, soon to be dwarfed by Father Luke and his 32 jobs in a year. . .
Click to expand...

I started thinking that this deserved some sort of a
reply, so I sat down at work tonight and began a list.

Off the top of my head:

Worked on a fruit ranch
Took inventory
Worked on a Suicide Hot line
Drove a limo
Political activist
Body Guard for Ralph Nader (one weekend - but hey)
2367363345_b5cc286ab3_o.jpg

Janitor
Construction worker
Baby-O-Grams (Delivered telegrams dressed as a baby)
Worked in a Slaughterhouse
Truck Driver
Sold my plasma
Restaurant Co-owner
Tractor driver
dishwasher
Bartender
Bus boy
Cook
Tour guide
Assistant teacher at local Jr. College
Sold seeds door to door
Licensed massage therapist
Rebirther
Bicycle Messenger
California Conservation Corp
Ice Cream Man
Licensed Mediator
Bakery worker
Storage Facility worker
Sold lemonade as a kid (that count?)
Worked in a donut shop
Security guard
Sold flowers on street corners
Serbian Orthodox Priest /Monk
Did stand-up Comedy
Tech Support
Web Designer
Worked for I.B.M. (in a labor position)
Fast food restaurants (try and name one I haven't worked at)
Manager for Crown Books
Delivered newspapers (Adult job - not as a kid)
Studied Court Reporting - could type about 80 wpm (?) at one time
Filling station - Gas Station
Roofer
Roofing tear off
Drove a taxi
Stage hand
House Sitter
Pet walker
Chicken hatcher
Bird Sitter
Worked with the developmentally disabled
- Downs Syndrome
- Autistic
- Cerebral Palsy
- etc.
Drove an Airport Shuttle
Sold cars
Mowed Lawns
Pizza - made, delivered
Washed windows
Set up eBay auctions for people
Landscaper
Gardner
Tree trimmer
Scorekeeper for Baseball games
Umpire
Coach
Photographer
Editor of a 'zine'
Swept up hair at a barber shop
Worked in a machine shop
Worked at a liquor store
Professional thief
babysitter
pet sitter
Pool cleaner
Television writer
Waste management employee for Airlines
Packed butter into wrappers, and boxes
Tile setter
Graphic Designer
Glass worker
Production Potter
Cabinet maker apprentice
Santa at Christmas
Put Carnival rides together
Licensed Insurance Agent
Sold Car wax
Passed out flyers
Collected signatures for petitions
Worked cash registers
Car wash
Song writer
Magician
Sold guns/drugs/the company of women
Sold myself, too
Camp Counselor
Transcriber
Data entry
Got paid to have my teeth cleaned by students
Painted numbers on curbs in front of houses
Collected cans/bottles
Kept bees
Raised worms
Irrigated Farms
Silk Screened shirts
Gambled
Wrote Software

Sold:
Christmas Trees
Pumpkins
Firewood
Prearranged funerals
Flags
Garbage bags
Solar heaters
Tickets for football games
Jewelry
Tickets for magic shows
Tickets for basketball games
Cell phones
Contractor supplies
Photo Sessions for Dept Stores
Photo Sessions for Photographers
Magazines
Advertising for magazines
Advertising for radio
Light bulbs
Brooms
Coupon Books
Chimney Sweeping
Lawn Aeration
Trade School Educational Courses
Took surveys

Sold on the phone longer than I can remember,
and it was in this occupation I gathered the thirty two w-2 forms.

I would literally go to work one day, and the place
would be chained up, and no sign of life, with me
shading my eyes looking in through the dark windows.

Anyway. There's more, but my head is full.

- -
Okay,
Father Luke
 
Bukfan

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
Incredible list! I never would have thought it possible for one person to have had that many different jobs. You must have broken some kinda reckord there, Father Luke. I think you're eligible for Guinness World Reckords...:D
 
Last edited by a moderator:
mjp

mjp

Founding member
Father Luke said:
...Roofer...
Click to expand...
This has to be the worst job that has ever been created by mortal men. At least before the pneumatic nail gun was invented (and it hadn't been when I did it).

I did roofing in Los Angeles in the dead of summer in huge new developments ("Oh, you're finished with this one? There's 249 more to your left, keep moving."). But the worst is commercial (flat) roofing with hot tar. In the dead of summer.

Instead of sending criminals to prison, they should just make them roofers.
 
bospress.net

bospress.net

www.bospress.net
Father Luke said:
Sold on the phone longer than I can remember,
and it was in this occupation I gathered the thirty two w-2 forms.

I would literally go to work one day, and the place
would be chained up, and no sign of life, with me
shading my eyes looking in through the dark windows.
Click to expand...


Dan Fante wrote a great book (Mooch?) about his time as a telemarketer. It is well worth the read.
Bill
 
CarversDog

CarversDog

RIP
Goddamn, you guys have got me beat all to hell:

Bartender (two years)
Bar manager (one year)
Stage manager (five years)
Script reader for various production companies in L.A.
Low-budget film screenwriter and script doctor
Ad copywriter for Voyages Catalog Group (now-defunct)
Assistant archivist for Roy Orbison Records (ongoing)
Adult film and video screenwriter (more years than I should've)
Editor-in-chief of New Rave (one year)
Editor-in-chief of Dirty (also one year)
Investigative reporter for Hustler (never again, damnit!)
Feature documentary writer and producer (no money in that shit)
Book Reviewer (San Diego Tribune and, more recently, Pop Matters)
Trade magazine journalist (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

I don't think I've done a day of physical labor in my life.
 
mjp

mjp

Founding member
CarversDog said:
I don't think I've done a day of physical labor in my life.
Click to expand...
I have heard tales of that type. I have never met one in the flesh.

Oh, fuck it, that's not true. I work in the internet business. If you gave most of these guys a shovel, they would just stare at it until they figured out some way to use it to open soda cans.
 
Purple Stickpin

Purple Stickpin

Back in 1995, I had a job that robbed me of my life. I had just finished graduate school, and was absolutely raped of my soul doing this job. Mercifully, I got fired because the company went from ~20 employees to ~6 employees; mainly because management was incapable of lining up work. Shit rolls down hill. Learn how to duck...

Hang in there, HC, it has taken me ~16 years to find a job that I love. You'll find it.
 
the only good poet

the only good poet

One retreat after another without peace.
people pass, smile
and greet the worker:
they love to see a man work.
their day is brightened by the fact
they aren't down there -
nor ever would they be -
employed in what is below
the majority.
they care little -
there isn't the urge
let alone the capacity
(forget the opportunity)
to employ one's brains
in some financially
lucrative endeavour.
 
LickTheStar

LickTheStar

Sad Flower in the Sand
If you can do it, moving sometimes freshens things up... I moved across the country from Springfield MA to Portland OR and haven't regretted a minute. It gave me a completely different perspective on things.

Weather's different, people are different, hell... I'm pretty sure I'm different. Though not certain if that relates at all to having a first born son at home... But... Yeah the 8-12 hour days of working suck at times... THe trouble is finding something you love. Or working toward something you love.

I work in a book store... I don't hate it most days, in fact its often quite fun. But I don't want to be here forever either. I want to be stewing the brains of college students in lowdown filthy literature by the time I'm 30. So its a goal. Sometimes work sucks, especially when (as a manager) I realize I could be making the same money (or better) working in an office in a tie every day.

But when I come home, kiss my wife and son hello, pop in some music and read a good book (not to mention popping on here to check up on you people)... I feel better. I've spent the better part of today, my day off, on the verge of tears because of how beautiful my son looks now that he's smiling at me.

There's tons of crap all around the apartment that need cleaning, we're a little low on food, and our cash supply is slowly dwindling since my wife's not working... But we're miles ahead of where we were a year ago in Massachusetts.

I see that you're still young (as if I, three years your senior am not, eh?). You've got time to blossom. Just 4 years ago, I was fresh out of a relationship with a psychotic woman, depressed about my major, depressed about living at home, depressed at working the same damn summer job... And then I met my wife, finished school, moved in with her, and then moved out here... Things can change quickly. Try something different. Variety is the spice of life and all that.

That's a rambling post... I'm sure there's got to be SOME valuable info in there someplace. Maybe I can glean it after letting it gel awhile... I'll be back to chop it up later, I think.
 
hoochmonkey9

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Moderator
Founding member
never met a job that I liked, but at least I got paid...

-paperboy
-land surveyors assistant
-house painter
-roofer
-road crew (tarring)
-busboy
-waiter
-landscaper
-greenhouse worker
-sold hardware
-sold toys
-sold big ticket items (furniture, appliances, etc)
-sold mens clothing
-shipper/receiver
-stockboy
-big ticket inventory clerk (worst job ever, 4 loooooong years)
-I was one of those guys that offers spritzes of perfume to women in dept. stores -("Would you care to try....") waaaay overpaid.
-model
-actor (no, not amateur porn)
-writer
-tutor
-visual merchandiser
-interior design
-dj
-sold overpriced tickets on luxury cars for our local symphony

I think that's it. some ran concurrently. some only lasted a day. or an hour.
but, like I said, at least I got paid.
 
esart

esart

esart.com
Founding member
i wanna play too. here's my list. and i only listed work i was paid for:

pattern maker's assistant
child model
professional picketer for larry flynt
drug dealer
t-shirt shop worker
house cleaner
hair model
artist
hostess at numero uno pizza
waitress/food prep at cafe
t-shirt shop manager
musician
business/commercial cleaner
telemarketer for exterior siding
bank teller
pharmacy worker
drug rehabilitation counselor
commercial printing grunt
promotional bulk mailing for computer programming company
grading and marking manager
data entry for commercial gallery
data entry for computer programming company
art shipping & receiving
artist's assistant for commercial design firm
sign painter
restoration/renovation (of houses & volkswagons)
general construction
recording studio custodian
flower delivery chick
flea market junk dealer
production assistant
messenger service dispatcher
art department assistant (mostly for food commercials)
mailroom worker for dental consulting firm
songwriter
accountant for flower store business
recording artist
art gallery owner/operator
freelance art writer
freelance webmaster
graphic designer
professional working artist & kept woman
 
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