Revelations revealed! And a free hat! All for only $50

mjp

mjp

Founding member
From: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>
To: mjp

168 left out of 200,
http://www.thule.org/BOOK/


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From: mjp
To: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>

If I buy the book, what comes with it? Any promotional items like fountain pens or stadium cushions?

mjp


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From: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>
To: mjp

funny you should ask
by reading pages 47- 49 and familiarizing your Self, and getting comfortable with, the two word principle put forth, you get a fine cap FOC shipping included
(smile)
there are 16 people now sporting caps, it is the start of a movement.
let us know, we will provide address for payment. cash or postal money order.
namaste'


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From: mjp
To: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>

Hmm. I will admit to being intrigued.

But my current religion forbids the wearing of caps, and I don't want to run afoul of this crowd while evaluating your religion. You promise a lot, but these guys are scary as hell, and I've seen them tear a man apart for sneezing during a service. You read that right. Sneezing! So understandably I am hesitant to let them know I am fishing outside of their pond, if you follow.

How much money are we talking about here, and are you open to barter? I have an old wireless router and a seashell from the Mediterranean that I could part with. Just feeling you out. I was in Tunisia for a month and a couple of men who rent boats tried to rip me off one night and I ended up in the police station for 12 hours. When they let me out I had to walk back to town along the beach and that's where I found the shell. I think that story alone makes it more valuable than a standard shell, or a shell with no story. What with the middle east being in the headlines lately.

Finally, is there an e-book version? I know people who can get me those kinds of things.

Your move.

mjp


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From: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>
To: mjp

we know you are in the "reaction" phase of your potential new book ownership.
we would suggest that you be an "actor" and not a "reactor".
be able and willing to make a decision, no more namby pamby, wishy washy will do.
your decision should not be made out of fear of retaliation by this cap and sneeze quashing cult you are currently affiliated with.
we have access to some leftover MIBs from the 50s that can handle any cultish shenanigans, plus bill cooper if he faked his death.
you have plenty of books around, and if you didn't, it seems like you would just write some more.(smile)
the price of our book was set upon particularly in this economy to fend off uncertain readers.
we have at least 5 ten dollar paragraphs in the book.
here's a two dollar copyrighted sentence that did not get in the book: god has multiple personality disorder, it's us.
we are not dealing religion, the antichrist takes a non religious stance.
we want readers who have been mind controlled from birth and never rid themselves of those early lies by dosing up and/or beating their backs with willow boughs and chanting gregorian quattrains, drinking the blood of the lamb, ad nauseum
readers who have been conditioned to read books for entertainment and escape, once read, throwing the thing away or worse, recommending it and loaning it to a friend.
alas, we noted that many of your books are handmade like ours and your attitude dreams to have the books passed on from generation to generation.
that is sweetly quaint.
this civilization is coughing blood, and so bored it thinks up aliens driving saucers, and creates a meme like jeesus.
rocket scientists invented space so there would be a place to send their rockets.
the sneezing thing is interesting, maybe their reaction is based on fear of spoken gezhundheit or widely spread pathogens.
fear of wearing caps has many connotations.
we feel certain that if you have read the "tailpiece" provided at the link
http://www.thule.org/BOOK/
you would know the price, and also know whether you would need such a quizzical tome.
it is after all an "anti-biography", the antichrist presented much like an older holden caulfield
there is the fact that the book might become noteworthy, talked about in the right circles and go into mass second edition with a big publishing house, thereby making these 200 limited edition signed and numbered copies valuable collector's items.
but, no, we would rather go into ignominy making stuff up like jose arguelles and the hoax of 2012.
we notice you are part of a gang of rebel writers and poets, printing poems with wood blocks.
you never grew up, neither did we, by the way we grew up in san marino.
namaste'
t3t


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From: mjp
To: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>

Your words ring true. I will join your religion.

Send the book at once:

Michael Phillips
PO Box 218
South Pasadena, CA 91031
That address is no longer valid. Contact me.

I will make several dozen inexpensive Xerox copies and send them to key members of shadow organizations that will crumble under its weight. Then I will make an electronic copy for mass distribution here and now, and a crowning, triumphant copy for the future of the universe that will outlive us all, as I intend to etch the words onto large, polished iridium tablets that I have made space for on the next shuttle mission (friends in high places, no pun intended).

I will make a few appropriate changes to the text, but nothing you would find offensive. I believe a chapter on the Jewish problem is in order, and at least five paragraphs on people who can breathe underwater. Also the title doesn't have quite the zazz that an important book should have. I will call it CONFESSIONS OF A FUNKY ANTICHRIST - Soul Revolution Chapter 16 - and then my name.

I am available to start work as soon as you can mail the book, my brothers. Fear not, I am on your side now.

mjp


Continued...
 
mjp

mjp

Founding member
From: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>
To: mjp

again we mention, this is not a religion.
you had better hurry with those iridium tablets, there are only two shuttle flights left before the ill designed infernal, lying machines are retired.
the masters of waste management have several other stupid ideas on the horizon.
http://www.thule.org/shuttle.html
something about drinking their reprocessed urine over and over again, living in quarters the size of small jail cell, going nowhere fast, trying to find some other 3-D planet to ruin with pocahontas the breasty indian in the forefront.
your plans to "Xerox" many copies of the book, show that you also pay homage to a past, antiquated inventions of the jews. (we went to school with one of the inventor's, Xerem's, sons).
since we didn't waste any words on the jews in our book, we will give them a little rope here.
as has been duly noted the jews are facile at copying things, and, like the chinese, a slightly larger tribe, they get ahold of your toe and won't let go.
walmart, china's distributor, walgreens, the jew's distributor
you are indeed, a "superior" rendition, a psychic from hell, a prissy prescient, to have weasled out the salience of the "lost" chapter that is NOT about the jews.
we particularly did not mention them, in the secret disenfranchised chapter entitled "eenie meenie miney mo", (actual working title, "manny moe and jack") knowing that paying attention to such pecuniary and avaricious sorry examples of anti christian values, would only lead to more circular sales, staccato raising of interest rates, which would force the cost of attention through the roof with a wheedling, whining, irritating, shut your mouth bitch, historical, hysterical noise.
that said, if you intend to copy and diseminate, rather than originate and inseminate, you need to be licensed and franchised, becoming a fringe loonie rather than full fledged member of our board.
and, even though we have no jews on our board, it doesn't mean that we don't feel sorry for them like everybody else.
but, it does mean the franchise will cost you dearly and especially if you have changed your name to hide the fact that you are a bolshevik gypsy pickpocket thief..
we calculate and round off, one million dollars dumped into our paypal account will suffice.
we are very satisfied that you are and will be a fine adjunct to our foundation.

namaste'
t3t


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From: mjp
To: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>

One million dollars? I did not grow up in San Marino, so I don't have ready access to one million dollars in my PayPal account.

In your haste to pillory the Jew you have completely ignored my interest in those among us who can breathe under water. You scoff as you read that, but I assure you that these aqua-negroes walk among us. I met several of them when I had an interest in a racehorse and spent a lot of time at the stables behind Hollywood Park. That Hollywood Park is not in Hollywood at all, but rather the heart of the dark ghetto, is no accident. Nor is it an accident that Hollywood proper has been transformed virtually overnight from an Eastern European (Trilateral) ghetto to a Disneyland for tourists and homosexuals.

Listen, you seem to take this as a joke, I do not. You should be sending me one million dollars, yet all I demand is my due. Once I have unleashed the half ton percussion bomb that is CONFESSIONS OF A FUNKY ANTICHRIST - Soul Revolution Chapter 16, you and everyone else will know why 16 is the magic number. But at this point in time I unfortunately consider you no more than a quasi-spiritual celebutante riding on my coattails. That can be fixed, but not by your expensive Beverly Hills plastic surgeons.

I know what you are up to, and when I tell you to stop you will stop. You know it, I know it, the cable television cabal knows it. Your synthetic plastic mesh-back baseball caps will not save you, no matter how much titanium foil you have your Jew tailors sew into the linings. You are on the brink of destruction and creation and you don't know the difference. I do, but if you want my guidance it will cost you.

Your pal,

mjp


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From: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>
To: mjp

san marino coattails do not a wealthy boy make.
we painted people's address on the curb for spending money.
in your defense of the lost jewish meanderings, no possibly valuable time has been misplaced.
pygmy thule representatives in the new hebrides banking circles were awaiting a cash transfer, which now, not to no avail and on no account will be sent.
you have impuned our caps and obviously have expressed no capacity for cap and trade, even if you had known the deal there wouldn't be one.
if you were privy to the principles expressed on pages 47-49, you would have come to a massively different conclusion and likely now be sporting a not run of the mill, but classy expensive free cap to cover your male pattern smoothness.
in the kali yuga, age of ignorance, it has been a delight to offer our book, and just as much of a freemason's leap to have it on your particular assumption block.
we have done all the schmoozy stuff, book signings, vegetarian potlucks, now we hunt and peck the web looking for diamonds to stick in our craw.
your honest appraisal of your bank balance adding zilch to an otherwise pleasant interaction.
also good to know that your sails also are luffing.
if we clustered a bunch of books together as you have done, our flagship "confessions" would stick out and be chosen above the other more sedentary books.
we have no need to pander, no need for it to stick out, but having fun is fun
but, you see, there's the rub, our book is for the extraordinary eclectic, esoteric, considered and discriminating reader.
it is a conversation between the antichrist and the reader with the antichrist necessarily doing most of the talking.
thanks for being you.
we will look for another set of coattails to depend on!
definitely an aerial group instead of gill breathing sub aquatics.
feathers, it was feathers came to mind and she was a fan dancer.
homework is done, can i go now? (smile)
namaste'
t3t


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From: mjp
To: Thule Foundation <chair@thule.org>

I am glad we are in agreement!

When should I expect payment? Never mind, don't tell me. I want to be surprised when it shows up.

Also, when you send the book, send a few copies. I need extras, since it is easier to copy if it is disbound, naturally, and I expect to lose some pages to theft and absentmindedness.

You have chosen wisely. We will make a good team. My extreme mental and parapsychological abilities and your promotional expertise are about to create an unstoppable force, like a cannonball on a Vancouver luge track.

Your pal,

mjp
 
cirerita

cirerita

Founding member
Send him a drawing of a seven-legged spider in lieu of the million dollar payment. He can't decline that :D
 
mjp

mjp

Founding member
I can't top David Thorne, he is a master of the form. But sadly, I have been entertaining kooks (and myself) via email for a long time. Usually they are garden variety kooks, like we get around here. But occasionally one really stands out, like t3t here.

I have taken a couple of key pointers from Thorne's bag of tricks after reading his site, and I will use them as fate dictates.
 
Bukfan

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
What a weirdo this t3t is! You should publish a book with your funniest kook emails. A sort of "The Best From The Kooks". :D
 
d gray

d gray

tried to do his best but could not
Founding member
well, it's an endless source of fascination.

as an old friend (and certified kook) once said to me, "if you're not weird you're boring.
 
Bukfan

Bukfan

"The law is wrong; I am right"
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - HST.
 
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mjp

mjp

Founding member
If only I had known the antichrist was a racist whack job from San Marino I could have saved a lot of time in life...
 
Digit

Digit

"rocket scientists invented space so there would be a place to send their rockets."

Boy, ain't that the truth!

I have enjoyed this thread more than most. Thanks mjp! It had been a long time since I saw the spider email and it's hilarity has not lost it's effect.

Keep them coming...............
 
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