Seeking submissions for a new project

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Note: I asked permission from MJP before posting this.

Submissions for a new project I'm working on:

The Pot Brownie Massacre. What is this? The Pot Brownie Massacre is a bi-weekly poetry E-zine, featuring poetry by up-and-comers and poets who you may have already heard of. We strive for top notch writing and will not censor our poets, their words or your world. Submissions are welcomed - in fact, we look forward to this aspect of the zine. Submissions should be directed towards: submissions@tpbm.org.

I look forward to seeing anyone who wants to get involved.

http://www.tpbm.org

 

[Ponder]

Good luck with your poetry magazine, Dennis.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Thanks Ponder. Something to do while doing nothing, you know? :)

 

[Ponder]

Perhaps the advise of the legendary editor/publisher Marvin Malone
will help you.

Rule #1: get good material.

You may not be aware of rules #2 & 3.

Rule #2 reads: 'Don't accept bad or inferior poems from
name poets'. Always hold out for the best that famous
poets can do--make them maintain a standard of performance.

Rule #3 goes: 'If you really like & admire the poems of
a totally unkown poet, publish that poet'.
He/she may become famous and thereby make you & your
mag famous. In essence, stay away from poetic & sexual &
political politics--too transitory.
Most mags go only for names. Be a discoverer!

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Very valid, educational points, my friend.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

You know, Dennis, and this may make me sound the freaking prude, which I am certainly not, but the title of said publication immediately disqualifies myself from submitting to you.

I totally understand your ethic about not censoring anyone, and that's cool, but as someone who works in a position that requires, shall we say, an occasional sense of decorum, you have already censored me. In other words, sure; it's my choice whether or not to be associated with your publication (of course, in the event anything of mine were ever to be accepted), but in the interest of keeping my house and feeding my family, I will have to pass.

I fully support your effort, and good luck. But if you are trying to be inclusive, somehow (to me) you are inadvertently being exclusive.

 

[zoom man]

But if you are trying to be inclusive, somehow (to me) you are inadvertently being exclusive.

I agree, plus I see stoner kids googling 'pot brownies'
and up-pops your site.

"Dude, let like, submit something"
(don't know how to spell Beavis and Butthead sniveling, but insert here)

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Put another way: Can't poetry exist without the "shock value" of a subterranean title? Shouldn't we hope that people will read something because it's good? Is it critical to appeal to people who get baked to ensure a readership?

I mean, I am such a minor poet that I look for submission requests such as this (but screw it, this is not about me, to be sure - and Dennis; no offense; it's just that you are launching something, and that's where folks such as myself look for opportunities). Another one before this; posted here, had to do with hard-ons or cocks in general. How very fucking appealing. Now pot brownies. Is there anyone else who wants to legitimize small press (or am I just delusional; website "press" ain't press, right?) as opposed to relegating it to the small-market crowd to where it is already relegated?

Our own Bill Roberts has succeded in this, as have a few others (Jordan and Justine come to mind) - paper vs. website is also understood. Let's just keep this real.

 

[hoochmonkey9]

I think the name of the e-zine is funny. pot heads getting enough energy to kill masses of people? that's funny. maybe not Monty Python funny, but funny enough.

being a sometimes poet, I don't care if the name of the mag is I'm Glad Your Mom Died Of Cancer, Steve as long as they spell my name correctly and give my website address.

but, perhaps I'm a whore. and if my boss thought to google my name, maybe I'd be out of a job. but I'm more concerned about my father in law, who's a retired Rear Admiral.

these are the chances you take when you're a small time writer in the computer age.


;)

(no, I have not submitted to Dennis' e-zine)

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

I was actually was thinking of calling it "So what my dad molested me you still deserved it" ... however, godaddy.com told me that domain has been taken. Thanks Lindsey Lohan.

I can see everyone's points, valid they are. And I understand those not wanting to put their name out there w/ the product. However, to claim that I created the name out of a need to create some controversy is unfounded.

I just found the name ironic.

I've been around pot brownie eaters. They couldn't tie their shoes, let alone massacre an internet! :)

But seriously ... who says you have to use your real name? Who says this has to be a way to make a name? I'm not looking to make money, are you? This is just a project to put words on a computer.

And I did not censor you with the name of my publication. You can thank your conscience for that.

I agree, plus I see stoner kids googling 'pot brownies'
and up-pops your site.

"Dude, let like, submit something"
(don't know how to spell Beavis and Butthead sniveling, but insert here)

Just because they submit something, doesn't mean it'd be included.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

And I did not censor you with the name of my publication. You can thank your conscience for that.

No you did not, but you certainly prevented me from submitting. I'd never use a contrived name; I'm me, and no one else; for good or bad.

Just because they submit something, doesn't mean it'd be included.

But you'll have a long road to hoe; can you imagine the baked crap you'd get? Do you really want to go through all of that? You'd need platters and platters of pot brownies to make that palatable.

And strangely, if you actually ate that many, you'd not only get diabetes, you'd actually accept some of them.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

No you did not, but you certainly prevented me from submitting. I'd never use a contrived name; I'm me, and no one else; for good or bad.

I'm not sure what you mean by using a contrived name? Do you mean by using a pen name, or do you mean contrived by using Pot Brownie Massacre as the title?

It's a play on words more than anything. I guess I could have used a nicer title. How about "Poetry for sunny days".

I'm not seeking writers who are afraid to write what they want - and those writers don't care about what "the man" cares about. If your a family man (or woman) and don't want to "rock the boat" I understand that. And I applaud you for being selfless in a time when most aren't.

But what I'm hoping to do is create a place where those who want to create without boundaries can.

But you'll have a long road to hoe; can you imagine the baked crap you'd get? Do you really want to go through all of that? You'd need platters and platters of pot brownies to make that palatable.

I don't eat pot brownies. In fact, I've never sampled any drug - with exception to my beer and wine. And I've sampled that more than most.

And I don't care about the road ahead. I'm not doing this for anything more than finding new works to read. It's not financially driven. The more submissions, the more works I get to read ... I think I'm a better person/writer for.

 

[zoom man]

It's a play on words more than anything. I guess I could have used a nicer title. How about "Poetry for sunny days".

If you're looking for a play on words I would think you could've come up with better, but if you're ready to be inundated with the shit you're going to get, and even be excluded from receiving stuff from even just one (and I think that in of itself would make you reconsider, but I guess you didn't post asking for a good title...) of our own here,

all the luck to you.

(Maybe you need to eat some brownies and then see if you want to re-think a title)

And Poetry for sunny days?
How about Poetry? My Ass
(see, you wouldn't want those Beavis/Butthead submissions either)

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Forget it.

 

[hoochmonkey9]

I'd never use a contrived name; I'm me, and no one else; for good or bad.

so is Stickpin from your dad's side, or did your mom keep her maiden name?

;)

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

By a contrived name, I meant mine. Clear?

As for the title, don't be coy; you know what I mean. How about a more creative title that doesn't involve illegality that just might intice intelligent people to submit? I'm not suggesting that only unintelligent people smoke pot or eat pot brownies, but certainly there is a large segment of our populace, who just might write good poetry, who do not go there for reasons of practicality or reason. You know, been there, done that, but no longer - 25 years ago? Get it?

Pot brownies aren't illegal. Eating them, however, is.

I'm actually really shocked that fans of Bukowski would be apprehensive of participating (in theory) in a publication called The Pot Brownie Massacre.

Like I said before, this is just something to do. I'm not looking to do anything more than read other peoples words. And share what I like. It'll probably last an issue or two.

Then I'll start "quaaludes caused this pregnancy".

I've already got some submissions and a few are pretty good. Did they smoke the ganja before submitting? I haven't a clue - and I don't care.

I do appreciate the conversation from you all. It's made me think, and that is the most precious of gifts. I'll push to make this work - and it won't turn into a Beavis & Butthead presentation.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Forget it.

Not sure why you deleted the previous post, but I appreciated your feedback and thoughts.

 

[chronic]

Pot brownies aren't illegal. Eating them, however, is.

I think you got that backwards.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Blame the mirror.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Pot brownies aren't illegal. Eating them, however, is.

I'm actually really shocked that fans of Bukowski would be apprehensive of participating (in theory) in a publication called The Pot Brownie Massacre.

Like I said before, this is just something to do. I'm not looking to do anything more than read other peoples words. And share what I like. It'll probably last an issue or two.

Then I'll start "quaaludes caused this pregnancy".

See, possession of pot is illegal (so manufacture of pot brownies is, by defintion, illegal) and association with something illegal is somethig that people who happen to work in certain fields cannot be associated with. If you are shocked that scientists actually love Bukowski, then you have no real grasp on the big picture. Do you not understand that Buk fans are not just book-makers, bank tellers, taxi drivers, skid-row bums and self-employed people who do not have to submit to drug tests? (Sorry if I made anyone feel lesser than anyone else; not my intention!; and hell, Taxi-drivers do have to, so ha!) Dude, all types love Bukowski! I just cannot risk being associated with pot brownies. But any work I would ever submit would be in my name and my name only. I own it; be it good or suckest it be.

so is Stickpin from your dad's side, or did your mom keep her maiden name?

And no, Hooch, Stickpin was not my Mother's mainden name, you silly bitch. ;)
;)

Not sure why you deleted the previous post, but I appreciated your feedback and thoughts.

I deleted it because I feel that you should be able to do whatever you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. The fact that I can't submit to it because of my ethics (actually, needs to protect my family) does not hurt anyone, so I retracted it.

Dennis, you clearly have good intentions, and you ring true to me. I just happen to have an issue with the title you chose for a submission-worthy entitly that I now know I cannot submit to. I can deal. Best of luck, for sure.

JM

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

I'll catch you on the next project, Purple. Because, my alcohol, bi-polar, needy self will find another project to play with after this one dies. And it will. For sure.

Some of the smartest, thought provoking posts I've seen on the internets I've found here. I thank mjp for this house.

Cheers all.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Indeed, Dennis. Good luck with your project.

And hooch: I somehow managed to mis-copy your quote unto mine. In any case, you get it. My mother was Irish, and THAT explains a fair deal, no?

 

[bospress.net]

Hi,
I'm late to this thread, but have to agree with Purple Stickpin and others. I'm one of those that are forced to take drug tests (I do sell laminate for kitchen countertops after all). With that being said, I would not have a problem being associated with any drug references. I have never denied my past and feel that people can associate themselves with all kinds of people. I don;t do drugs anymore, but that was a choice. I did almost all of them when I was very young. I still have some very close friends who use drugs and I have no desire to join them, but it does not bother me to be around them. Also, I could not be fired for association as long as my piss tests are clean. Still, some people here have more professional careers where this could follow you. I can appreciate the need to stay away from issues like this.

Still, in my opinion, a press name should not seem like it was a joke. "His Cock Is Money" is the other press that was mentioned. Nothing against that person either, but it gives the impression that you are not taking the thing seriously.

"Gold Plated Fetuses" would be a cool name for a punk band, but maybe not for a press that is going to try to publish poetry that is not only shocking, but enlightening.

There are many e-zines out there and a ton of poets that LOVE using FUCK, CUNT, PUSSY, etc, etc. Nothing against these words (and they can be used well by some), but when they are used too often, they lose their effectiveness and tend to look amateurish.

Anyway. Best of luck with the e-zine. I think that you will quickly see that getting a TON of submissions wears thin pretty soon. There is only so much time to read, and getting to read 50 poems that do NOTHING for you will not be a pleasant thing.

Best,

Bill

 

[mjp]

I'm actually really shocked that fans of Bukowski would be apprehensive of participating (in theory) in a publication called The Pot Brownie Massacre.

I have to agree with you there. Especially considering no one batted an eye at HIS COCK IS MONEY, which I thought was about the most idiotic thing I'd seen a long time. But no one said anything. I find this weird, yes.

If we don't have a pot brownie massacre the terrorists win!

Bitches!

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

He mocks me, yet I still love him and his house.

I am the bitch.

 

[Gerard K H Love]

So, Dennis loves the pot too. I will have to start writing.

I think most bosses would find it weird that you are a poet and not so much the title of the e-zine. I basically don't give a rat's ass.
Purple Stickpin you should submit and use the name, Purple Stickpin. Does your boss know that name?
I need to submit to Modern Drunkard Magazine.. Now that would be a prize to be picked for.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Funny thing: I don't smoke pot, nor eat it in desert form. My only addiction is alcohol, which my employer knows. :)

Out of interest, Gerard, why do you think they'd be more suprised that I'm a poet?

 

[Gerard K H Love]

I must work for some real gems. I have seen more confusion on the faces of bosses about writing than I have about smoking some herb.

 

[Dennis Loves The Beer]

Purple might be right, sadly. I am getting a ton of "pot related" poetry. This kind of saddens me ... I guess maybe irony isn't the way to go.

NOTE: It does not have to be pot related, drug related, poetry submissions gang.

 

[poptop]

Hi Dennis,

If you're getting a lot of pot related poetry because of the title, I'd like to suggest a new more advantageous variation: 'Word Money Massacre.' You can retire off the profits. ;)