Sun Dog Press & My First Book

[mjp]

The only reason I came on here was to get my poems/stories out to more people.

Huh. I would have never guessed.

On every forum, of every topic, there's always the top 5 or 10 posters, that take it upon themselves to cut people down, correct everyone, and pronounce themselves as judges of whatever topic the forum regards.

You sure know a lot about forums. You know, for someone who has to "force" themselves to go on the Internet (and post in forums and start blogs, etc.).

I don't care if you think I'm this Fonze-character that thinks he's the next Bukowski. That's great, awesome, go with that. Believe it.

You are angry about our impression of you, but all we have to go on is what you give us. You gave us a cliche.

So if I was already apart of

You mean 'a part of'. Apart means to separate. 'A part of' is inclusive.

your 'elite' club...

You joined and participated. I guess that makes you one of the "elite."

I hate most writers.

Then why isn't it okay for me to hate you?

I guess, I was wrong.

Incorrect use of a comma.

JOHN FUCKING MARTIN

Funny, that's what I call him too.

I'm a working class single-dad, with no car, a mountain of debt to climb over, a back injury that drives me to the brink of madness, and in general a tough road in life.

Can I get you a hankie to weep into, bitch?

Everyday I'm posting another poem. I have a stack of over 80 now

Why didn't you say you were sitting on such an impressive body of work?

I'll be in the garage and with my mean machine.

Huh? You said you, "wrote...on my porch, in the ghetto and in the call centers." Was that a lie? Suddenly you have a fancy, college-boy garage to write in? Like some sort of writer's studio? What an elitist!

I wanted people to read my poems.

I did. I didn't like them. I think what you meant to say here is that you wanted people to tell you they were great.

You're the ones that started calling me 'Fonze'

You mean Fonzie.

& 'Ponyboy'.

The period goes inside the quotation marks.

This isn't a persona...

Look up "persona." (<--see where the period goes?)

Do me a favor and let me know if you find any other grammatical or punctuation errors in anything I've typed on here?

Are you sure you wanted to use a question mark there? It seems like a statement.

There's a reason you people sit on a message board all day correcting others.

Yes, to point out how stupid they are.

Think about what that is and what it means about you.

I thought about it, and I think it means I'm smarter than you.

 

[Hosh]

The only reason I came on here was to get my poems/stories out to more people. That's it.

See there...a close reading of your own words might've helped you figure out why you got the reception you did.

And now it doesn't matter how good your words are...not many around here are going to give you a fair read. And that includes the many tremendous publishers that frequent these boards, have published Bukowski, and might otherwise have published you. All you've done is cost yourself a bunch of potential readers (many who've bought Sun Dog books) and a maybe a few potential opportunities.

 

[Short Bus]

That, MJP, made my day.

I will drink another MACLAYS just for you right now.

 

[justine]

yeah i feel like this guy just dug himself further into his own hole... he keeps complaining that no one "gets" him or "understands" him, but there's not much to get or understand when you just blow in and blow hard.

if someone just walked up to me at a bar, or on the street, or at my place of work and spouted the same bullshit he did, they'd get the same reaction. and the whole "elitist" schtick... that is ALWAYS the excuse/lame reasoning that people like valdez fall upon when they don't get the adoration they expect and think they deserve.

 

[Gin Soaked Boy]

I don't understand how you guys have the energy. Just let it go. Why fling poop at each other?

"You're an idiot"
"No, you're an idiot"
"No, YOU'RE an idiot"
"No, YOU ARE"
"NOOOO, YOU ARE!"

It's pointless. You're just hurting each other.

 

[d gray]

later, fonze -

 

[cunningham]

I have an extra Bukowski Mantle that's too heavy for me to carry if anyone wants it.

you just have to pay the freight to have it trucked to your location.

I am not Richie Cunningham.

 

[mjp]

you just have to pay the freight to have it trucked to your location.

Don't fall for this Nigerian's scam. He'll ask you to wire the money via Western Union and the next thing you know your bank account will be empty and you'll never take delivery of the nonexistent "mantle."

 

[lewis hc]

Bit of a wanker that Valdez eh?

 

[gbsupbowl]

That seems to be the consensus

 

[VALDEZ]

And now it doesn't matter how good your words are...not many around here are going to give you a fair read. And that includes the many tremendous publishers that frequent these boards, have published Bukowski, and might otherwise have published you. All you've done is cost yourself a bunch of potential readers (many who've bought Sun Dog books) and a maybe a few potential opportunities.

It doesn't matter how good my words are? It doesn't matter? Elvis Christ. Listen to yourself.
You don't give a rat's ass about the word, the line, the way. That's all that matters.

Look if you don't like me...fine...then don't read my book when it comes out. Okay?

Just don't sit there typing away that I'm going around saying 'I'm the next Bukowski'.
Because I'm not. I'm a Valdez and wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[mjp]

It doesn't matter how good my words are? Listen to yourself.

You should listen to him, actually. He's already done everything you're trying to do and more, and he might have some advice that would serve you well.

You're here among a lot of published writers who are telling you that you're turning them off reading your writing. What if they're all right and maybe - just maybe - you're wrong? Then what? Who's going to buy your book, Berlinski, Martin and your momma? You haven't accomplished enough yet to piss on your potential audience.

Hook them in first, then you can piss on them and they'll enjoy it. That's how it works, hombre. Ask Bukowski. Ask Iggy or Johnny Cash or those cunts from Oasis. When you come out of the gate waving your dick around people just want to see you fail.

Or try it your way. Like I said in my first response to your first post; "good luck with that."

 

[roni]

please note, that the above post ^ by mjp is absolutely serious and honest.

 

[d gray]

Hey! That's my line!

 

[Erik]

If rejection is good for the soul (and of course, it is) then Valdez' soul must be whiter than white by now.
That old "dry cleaner" mjp is really mopping up. (With a little help from his minions.)
Valdez doesn't know how lucky he is...

 

[Hosh]

Just don't sit there typing away that I'm going around saying 'I'm the next Bukowski'.

Okay man...I won't. Thanks for setting me straight.

 

[mjp]

Minions? Is that like Funyuns?

 

[hoochmonkey9]

I think they're really small onions.

 

[ArtVisionary]

I really enjoyed reading these. I normally don't like seeing folks slinging negativity at eachother, but the whole stream of posts was actually quite funny. I read a couple of the Valdez poems out of curiosity. I don't see the slightest connection to Bukowski. An interesting approach to getting people to read your poems I supppose.

 

[cunningham]

hooch, they are. delicious, too, sauteed with your eggs in the morning.

I grew five acres of sweet minions this year, but the minion-weevils got em...

 

[Ponder]

I read a couple of the Valdez poems out of curiosity. I don't see the slightest connection to Bukowski. An interesting approach to getting people to read your poems I supppose.

I finally made it to read 3 of his scribbles. Teenager style.

I waited two whole days in that Arizona sun.
On the third
I walked back home
and continued the job search.

Good idea. Hopefully you'll find a job.

 

[whatsayjew]

I think you're all missing out on the brilliance of Valdez. He seems to be satirizing outdated and sterile themes on life through the arbitrary vessel of a greaser. Through this whole imbroglio he is able to construct a tired and useless piece of art. Think of it as unliterary. You don't connect or empathise; you simply nod your head in accordance. I also have to thank you for not decanting the homosocial. You are a credit to Gay literature.

 

[James Lashing]

Im sorry mate but using some clapped out old banger of a typewriter isn't going to improve your flow and seems to me to be a bit of a pretence. I am not sure what the deal is in the US but in London if you sent a publisher some scrap of bog roll with a scrawl all over it then it would go straight in the trash.

Use a computer and, if you are so worried about losing your work, send an email to yourself with it as an attachment or alternatively use one of the multitude of storage mediums out there.

Thrashing shit out on a typewriter with a quiff and a smoke dangling out ya kisser is wack.

What are you, a time traveller?

 

[mjp]

Aaaannnnnd on that note (and in commemoration of the great and merciful leader Kim Jong-il), we close the VALDEZ chapter of bukowski.net. Selah.