Sun Dog Press presents: Walkin' With The Beast by Danny Valdez

mjp

Founding member
I'm sure something terrible happened to you, at some point...
Well, now that I think of it, I did read some of your poetry. That was a terrible thing.

But seriously, it's very exciting, that first book, so good for you. I hope your posts here rake in a lot of cash money business and you sell dozens of copies. With a winning personality like yours, the writing is really secondary, so I predict great success.

You are welcome here any time.

Mainly because I never tire of watching indescribably talentless - yet somehow hugely egotistical - idiots waving their dicks around. It's oddly compelling and entertaining. Like watching American Idol auditions, only I don't have to see Ryan Seacrest's face.

please don't make fun of his height. he's sensitive.
As you know, I'm six feet tall in heels. Let's not perpetuate stereotypes and myths.
 
...Several people, including myself, congratulated you on the book.

Okay, I had decided to not comment in this tread for some time due to the small weight never measures up to the large, but I never recall you congratulating him on the book being published. If anything I remember you posting his book in a thread I started on "Books I never want to read..." I understand he was probably rather arrogant in relaying the praise he'd received by certain individuals well-known around these parts but being young and told certain things about his craftsmanship certainly didn't help in his wayward virtues around these parts - what's a poor boy do to? I've read his latest book (and only book published) and it's pretty damn good. Stop swinging off mjp's nuts and read it for yourself.
 

Pogue Mahone

Officials say drugs may have played a part
Maybe we just like booze, pussy and sleep more than an arrogant little prick who thinks he can walk into a bar with skin as thick as toilet paper. Generation Yine needs to get over the soccer trophy they got for just showing up and forget the Purple Heart they thought they deserved after a little girl kicked them in the shin.
 
I'd give you that if it was easy as that. But it's not. Go fuck yourself. You are still adorning the X-mas tree. Repeat, rinse.
 

mjp

Founding member
No, it's what he does right before his annual "meltdown and stomping off in a huff, vowing never to return." Which he always does (unfortunately) a month or two later.

You just haven't been around long enough to see it before. You'll get used to it.
 

hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Moderator
Founding member
Okay, I had decided to not comment in this tread for some time due to the small weight never measures up to the large, but I never recall you congratulating him on the book being published. If anything I remember you posting his book in a thread I started on "Books I never want to read..."
look harder. I'm not finding my post where I congratulated him for you, but it's on the forum here.
 
Also, I've never claimed to drink MD 20/20, the only thing in my Mason jars is water. Pay attention.
Don't you think being photographed pretending to drink moonshine from a Mason jar is even more affected than being photographed actually doing it?
 
No Bruno. Moonshine is for Hillbillies, mad dog 20/20 is for vatos locos and frat boys. Tang is for astronauts and Ting is for your thing.
 
I know that but in the photos I'm on about Valdez was (I think) drinking clear liquid from a Mason jar, which was obviously meant to look like (or was) moonshine. I think MJP was taking the piss with the 20/20 thing (I believe it's called hyperbole ;) ). Having said that, you're probably taking the piss too. My namesake's a big fan of the Mad Dog, as it happens.
 
Just about everybody shit on me and trolled the fuck out of the thread.

Maybe the word you're looking for is 'promoted' the fuck out of your thread. Every time somebody posts on your thread it goes up to the top of the list of 'what's new.' So far this thread here, for example, has up around 750 hits.

Buknet. Where being trolled and having your posts turn into discussions of barbecue can make you famous.

Life is so short ...

That, by the way, is not a good clean line. Having true insight is important for a writer.
 
I've had a look at the extract on Amazon and I thought it was ok. It's hard to judge off quite a small sample like that and it didn't exactly make me want to rush out and buy the book but I didn't think it was shit either.
 

d gray

tried to do his best but could not
Founding member
he does have a site with mucho samples but i ain't pimping it for him...
 

mjp

Founding member
It still reads very young and unformed to me. Even in its cleaned up state. It's full of clichés, clumsy writing and there's no payoff to any of the poems. He gets to the end and stops and you just think, "Oh. Okay. Guess that's the end of that one."

You can get away with a little cliché and a little clumsiness if the lines have rhythm. But I don't feel any rhythm in his "poemstories™."

If we're holding him up to the same standards that we would hold any poet (as we should), he wasn't at all ready for a book like this, and this kind of attention. I don't think he ever will be, but what do I know.
 
Valdez,

I don't have the energy to troll the thread. So let me just say it: your book cover is fucking terrible. The cigarette, the sideburns, the popped collar, the rings, the bottle... ugh. A thousand facepalms.
 
I found the site and read "The Janitor & His Special Son." The story has a good setup.
His wife died during child birth
his son had something wrong with him
back then they didn't really know
what it was
they just told him
it was a form of mental retardation.

And that kid's name was Danny Valdez
 
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hoochmonkey9

Art should be its own hammer.
Moderator
Founding member
And so concludes this segment of The Ballad of Sweet Danny V.

But don't fret, I'm sure he'll be back for another verse.

Until then, may your Marlboros stay lit, your Mason jars unchipped, and your quiff stand high and proud.

See you at the drive-in...
 
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