the one and only night you played at CBGB's...
Watch as the innocent, unwary girl makes a desperate attempt to call the withered old man's
punk rock cred into question! Her jumbled English words chosen carefully for maximum impact! See the amusing spectacle of her delicate verbal jousting in a desperate effort to win the favor of the old man! To impress him with her zazz and moxie! A schoolgirl crush on display for your education and entertainment! You will gasp and gape in wide-eyed astonishment! It's all here, and it's all LIVE!
Please step up to the booth in an orderly fashion! You there! I don't want to see your children trampled, or dear old grandmother elbowed aside! Didn't we all see enough carnage in the war? There are a limited number of tickets available for the next show, so I beg you with the utmost solemnity and urgency to buy yours NOW or risk being stranded here on this dusty midway with tears rolling down your fair cheeks while your friends and neighbors marvel at the stunning, eye-popping, jaw-dropping ABSOLUTELY REAL oddities under the tent that you see directly behind me!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, saints and sinners alike, this is my personal guarantee to each and every one of you: if the oddities that you see tonight, brought here directly to you from the four corners of the known and unknown world are not ABSOLUTELY REAL, I will personally pay each and every one of you five dollars in cold, hard American silver!