Which is better, Hair Metal or Opera?

[mjp]

Hair Metal includes, but is not limited to; Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Dokken, Tesla, Skid Row, Cinderella, Poison, W.A.S.P., RATT, Stryper, Enuff Z Nuff, Autograph, Nelson, Quiet Riot, Hanoi Rocks, Great White, Warrant, Mr. Big, Winger, Night Ranger, et al.

Opera is fat white people bellowing and shrieking in a language you can't understand on top of overwrought symphony music.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Hmmm...opera, like The Emperor of San Francisco?

Actually, some of the operatic scores have some good moments. My father has a good-sized collection of "Opera Without Words." But, since that isn't an option, I abstain.

 

[Rob.]

How dare you lump Maiden in with those other cock rockers!

 

[mjp]

Actually, some of the operatic scores have some good moments.

Now, now. We shall not separate the music from the wailing in this scientific poll. Opera requires both.

Just like hair metal requires both "superstrats" and Aqua-Net.

How dare you lump Maiden in with those other cock rockers!

Sorry: "superstrats" and Aqua-Net. They qualify.

 

[Rob.]

These guys never used shampoo, nevermind hair spray!

 

[mjp]

Who is that, RATT? You're missing the point of the question, getting all caught up in technicalities!

 

[Rob.]

That's Iron Maiden.

My point is that including them makes the question fundamentally flawed and therefore impossible to answer as asked.

 

[Gerard K H Love]

Rob, I hate to break it to you but Mr sexy arms folded has blow dryer written all over him. The same as striped shirt holding his guitar like it's his nut sack.

 

[CRBSMILE]

These guys never used shampoo, nevermind hair spray!

I would hazard a guess that curling irons, round bristle-brushes and hair-picks were also used daily, most likely in conjuction with one of the greatest beauty inventions of the 80's-MOUSSE. CRB:)

 

[mjp]

That's Iron Maiden.

My point is that including them makes the question fundamentally flawed and therefore impossible to answer as asked.

I know it's Iron Maiden. Including them is the point.

Sure, technically maybe they should be in the "taking itself so seriously that it's really quite funny rock" category with Scorpions, UFO and all those other bands that appealed to Eastern European boys who couldn't get any real music on their side of the iron curtain.

But don't blame me, blame the guy in the picture with the pointy hair band guitar and lightning bolt strap. That checkerboard bass isn't doing them any favors either. And make no mistake, like Love suggested, they spent a lot of time making their hair look like they hadn't done anything to it.

 

[Rob.]

Slow down now!

First, Iron Maiden...I can almost see your point, but now you're jumping on Scorpions?

There's a special place in hell reserved for your ilk.

 

[ESO9]

Regardless of how decent the music can be, there is no excuse for a man to wear spandex - unless you're Richard Simmons.

 

[slimedog]

Both are fine but can't compare with the often misunderstood "sex with Asian marionettes" genre of music which is strangely similiar to French accordian music.

 

[hoochmonkey9]

I have probably equal amounts of opera and hair metal lps tapes and cds, but in the past 10 years I've listened to more opera than hair metal, so opera wins. I'm not including Van Halen in the hair metal category, but I suppose they could fit. I just think the first Van Halen record is too good for classification. and they had a sense of humour (because of Roth). Motley Crue and Ratt couldn't laugh at themselves, just laughed at. and Cinderella? oi vey... and Poison just wanted to be the New York Dolls. but, whatever.

so, if Van Halen is hair metal, hair metal wins. or it's a tie. although Puccini's Nessun Dorma could be a tie breaker.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Regardless of how decent the music can be, there is no excuse for a man to wear spandex - unless you're Richard Simmons.

Or unless you have a cucumber wrapped in aluminium foil in yer trousers.

 

[Billville]

I have to go with hair metal. If you fight your way thru the cheese factor there were actually a few songs that weren't half bad: Cinderalla had a few cool, bluesy AC/DC styled riffs happening. I wouldn't classify WASP as Hair metal though. They were more of the shock-rock vain. If you can get past the theatrics, Blackie Lawless actually has a kick-ass voice and the songs have some nice melodies (in a metal sort-a-way).

Opera ... I'd just be waiting for the fat lady to sing.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

...Cinderalla had a few cool, bluesy AC/DC styled riffs happening...

Wow, a horrible band borrowing from a horrible and annoying band. Now that's a ringing endorsement!

 

[Billville]

No way ... did you call AC/DC Horrible and annoying? I don't even have a response ... I, I ... have to re-collect.

 

[LickTheStar]

Oh man, do I have to choose?!

This is probably the most difficult choice this century. Hell, this existence!

 

[d gray]

such an unfair question - now i know how 'sophie' felt...

 

[mjp]

Funny, I was be-bopping across some cable channels last night and came across Do It For The Band: The Women of the Sunset Strip, which is just what it sounds like; a show about hair metal groupies.

What's funny was something one of them said at the end. That when Nirvana's Nevermind came out, all those Sunset Strip/hair bands were obsolete overnight. It reminded me of hearing the first Ramones album 15 years before Nevermind. It seemed like it made all the 70's arena rock irrelevant in the span of a few minutes.

You could argue that the Beatles did the same thing in America in 1964, but in a more culturally than musically disruptive way, since there was not really any pre-existing excess for them to react to and replace.

Arena rock and hair metal have everything in common of course - excess, isolation, way too much of everything easily available - but apparently all it takes is a more down to earth populist generation of youths to come along and point out the ridiculousness of the situation. Unfortuantley, if that works on an every fifteen years schedule like it did with punk and "grunge" (which was actually punk III), we're overdue for something real.

Maybe it won't happen again. I often wonder what the disruptive new music would sound like, and it always involves some kind of computer or non-analog devices, and I am afraid that will never do the trick.

Maybe opera will make a comeback...

 

[jordan]

i suggest that anyone interested in hair metal check out the biography of love/hate on their website. it will take you a couple hours to read (!) but it really is outstanding.

i love bands like poison, motley crue, skid row, etc. i won't apologize for that either. i also disagree with mjp in that there are plenty of current acts that bring that "holy shit" factor he mentioned when he saw black sabbath. like harvey milk when they play "death goes to the winner" ... you kind of look at them and think "what the fuck is happening right now?!" and it is deeply unsettling. or when propagandhi plays pro-vegan songs about eating humans, and you're looking at a 5'6" canadian guy with a guitar cinched up to his neck literally give it everything he has. it's out there, you just have to look for it.

 

[Ambreen]

On the last day before dying, little Ampjreen voted for hair metal because she was as fond of Iron Maiden as her father. She asked me every nights for dozens of Maiden's songs as way of lullabies. A tiring little thing, indeed.

 

[mjp]

i suggest that anyone interested in hair metal check out the biography of love/hate on their website. it will take you a couple hours to read (!) but it really is outstanding.

I second that recommendation. That was a great read (mouseover "History" at the top of the page to get to the next chapter).

i also disagree with mjp in that there are plenty of current acts that bring that "holy shit" factor he mentioned when he saw black sabbath. like harvey milk when they play "death goes to the winner" ... you kind of look at them and think "what the fuck is happening right now?!" and it is deeply unsettling. [...] it's out there, you just have to look for it.

Fair enough. Admittedly, I'm not looking anymore, and that's my loss.

The '70's Reggae movement kind of ruined rawk for me. I was always looking for something more, something harder, and that's where I found it. It might seem ironic given that the music itself is the polar opposite of what we normally classify as "hard" and "heavy." But to my ears it was revolutionary, the rhythm spoke to me on a molecular and primal level, and it made all the rock, punk and everything else I listened to seem trivial in comparison.

I still appreciate a good thrashing or pop song, but it's hard to compete with an entire genre of music and philosophy that is basically saying, "We need to burn down the world as we know it, get rid of the ruling classes and start over with what's important. Equal rights and justice." Even if that burning down is metaphorical.

Obama used a somewhat similar populist approach to get elected. Typical political campaign volunteers are given a box of pamphlets and a clipboard full of names and addresses and told to canvas neighborhoods like census workers. Obama's campaign gave people the boxes of information, then looked at them and said, "Well, go do something with this. Spread the word. It's up to you to figure out exactly how to do that." And obviously it was effective.

Unfortunately it was only effective in electing another politician, but it demonstrates that new approaches can work.

Burn down Babylon!

And do it to a good soundtrack. Whether that means Iron Maiden, Harvey Milk or Peter Tosh is up to you to figure out.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

No way ... did you call AC/DC Horrible and annoying? I don't even have a response ... I, I ... have to re-collect.

Just my opinion Bill. But yes, I'd rather give Charles Manson a sponge bath while wearing a thong than listen to one minute of AC/DC. Actually, we could both be in thongs.

 

[Billville]

Oh you just haven't given them a chance. We'll start you out with this: a little pre-AC/DC Bon Scott.

(actually, I can hear this playing in the background as you're giving Charles a bath ; )

 

[ESO9]

Hells yeah! I'm a huge Bon fan.

 

[Purple Stickpin]

Oh you just haven't given them a chance.

I started listening to rock and roll in 1970 at 6 years of age. My radio was full-bore for years. I love me some hard rock, you know? Saw Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult and more.

Angus Young in that stupid, inane schoolboy uniform makes me want to vomit blood straight from the very depths of my bowels; dark, dark cancer blood that smells like death. Speaking of which, I had a brief Kiss phase as well in 1975. Got over that faster than a dose of clap.

And Build Me up, Buttercup is far better than anything AC/DC ever did, and far less cheesy.

 

[mjp]

Speaking of which, I had a brief Kiss phase as well in 1975. Got over that faster than a dose of clap.

Well, in your defense, that was their peak year. ;) I saw them twice back then (pre-Destroyer) and they were great.

Then, apparently overnight, they became animated sock puppets of some kind and completely lost me. Just in time for the Ramones record to come out. The timing was perfect.

 

[Billville]

And Build Me up, Buttercup is far better than anything AC/DC ever did, and far less cheesy.

Okay, I can see this is gonna take awhile to get you to even half-way cool. I'll start with something more your speed. :D

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